Thursday, June 5, 2014

Questions


In the last few days as we started week #4 of Evie being with me, the questions have FINALLY slowed down.  But oh, my! has it been a long road! 

I realize that asking questions about EVERYTHING is a normal stage for kids.  I also realize that some kids ask many more questions than others.  But I really think that there is something more to these questions than normal developmental curiosity. 

For at least a couple of weeks, the questions in the car were CONSTANT.  They are still being asked but not as much as before. 
               Why are you stopping?  Why are you turning here?  Which way are we going?  Which way is home?  Why are you slowing down/speeding up?  Are you going the right speed?  Why is this light red?  Why are you going when the light is red?  (She was looking at the light of the traffic on the perpendicular street.)  Is the Popo going to get us?  What road is this? 

There are questions about things she knows the answer to. 
                 At dinner one night, I was drinking my drink and she asked, "What are you doing?"  In my head - "It is obvious that I am drinking a drink, and this is not an activity that is unfamiliar to you." 
                She told me that her friend Cadence at school had brought her a candy bar.  "Oh, that was nice of her."  "Who?"  In my head - "You just told me who!"

Literally in the span of five minutes or less:
               "What's that beeping?"  "The microwave."  "What's in the microwave?"  "Dinner"  "Why is it dinner in the microwave?"
               "Whose shirt are you folding?"  "Whose towel are you folding?"  "Why are your socks matched up?"
               "Do you like spaghetti?"  "Yes."  "Why?"
               "Can we do this now?"  "No."  "When we wake up, we can do it?" 

And then after I would answer a question, she would ask the exact same question again!

Here are my theories and thoughts:
- I think some is Evie encountering things that she has never seen and/or done before, and so she is having to ask what things are and what they do. 
- I think some comes from anxiety of this new/different situation.  Because she's anxious, she has to know everything about every detail to make her feel more at ease. 
- Maybe asking questions was the only way she could get attention in her house.  As in, if she talks, she gets ignored; but if she asks a question, someone has to respond to her. 
- I feel like asking questions is the ONLY way she knows to have a conversation.  Because I would estimate a week ago that 50-75% of what came out of her mouth was a question rather than a statement.  Because normal social conversation has never been modeled for her. 

I know that she is anxious, and I want to alleviate her anxiety as much as possible.  But what I have started to do many times is to turn the question around.  If it's something I know she knows, I will say either "What do YOU think I'm doing?"  or "You know what I'm doing."  If it's a "why" question, I will ask her, "Why do YOU think that is?"  If she asks a question multiple times, I will say, "I already answered that." 

I'm very interested to see if anyone has any ideas about WHY she's asking so many questions, and/or any suggestions on how to handle it. 


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